ON THE ROAD TO AMPHIPOLIS
Episode
16… THE AMASING QUEST II: FROM LIONS TO
HYDRAS TO BOARS… OH MY!
Meanwhile back On Mt. Olympus the
debate surged forward among the gods about just how terrible do they make this
new Hydra? Zeus wanted a serpent with twelve fire-breathing heads to represent
each one of the twelve major gods and goddesses in the Greek Pantheon of Gods.
“Oh goody!” Hera said sarcastically. “I don’t know about you, ‘Dear’ husband,
but the last thing I want to hear from a mortal is, ‘I just lopped off Hera’s
head lets lop off Zeus’s head next!’”
“Oh!” Zeus said in an almost
contrite manner to his wife the Queen of the Gods.
“I know I wouldn’t mind seeing Hera
get her head lopped off.” Athena quipped to Aphrodite.
“How about making a Hydra where ALL
the heads look like Hera? We could all live with that, couldn’t we?” Aphrodite
giggled.
Athena laughed. “Why yes and maybe
we can cover it all over its ugly gross body in peacock feathers.”
Hera rolled her eyes. “Why don’t we
make the thing with 100 heads? I think that will be a lot better challenge for
Olaf and Ofeelya then the lion wrestling was.”
“Yes!” Laughed Ares. “Those lions
were a real let down, no one even got eaten”. Ares cackled, “Now maybe with a
100 headed serpent some or if we’re lucky maybe all of the mortals will
completely be ripped to pieces.” Ares clapped his hands together. “Warms your
heart doesn’t it!”
Artemis still hadn’t totally
forgiven her father for taking her two lion skin rugs, but piped in with, “I
don’t care how many heads the snake thing has as long as it has skanky breath,
bad enough breath to kill any man or beast that gets breathed on.”
“Hey family why don’t we make it
kind of a sexy serpent type thing. You know half woman - half serpent with a
poisonous bite”. Apollo said as he traced the silhouette of the somewhat busty
woman in the air. Hera just glared at Apollo.
Hestia shook her head, “I think the
Hydra we create for this quest should be exactly like the one Hercules faced.’
“Yes,” Athena agreed, “that one had
nine heads; one of which could not be harmed by any weapon, and if any of the
other heads were severed another would grow in its place.”
“Make it grow two heads for every
one head it loses and poisonous fangs and you have a deal.” Zeus stated.
“Deal!” Athena said with a
satisfied smile.
Hestia had in mind something a
little less lethal, but she was sure Bryna, Caley and their companions could
conquer this behemoth. At dawn the next day the Hydra that had once lived in
the swamps near to the city of Lerna in Argolis, now lived again.
Stevo, the Caiman Hunter, had seen
to it that Olaf and his team had all received souvenir stuffed animals as
remembrances of their visit to the Grove of Zeus Zoo and Bird Sanctuary. Olaf
smiled with delight when he received a stuffed lion that looked kind of like
The Rock. Ragnar was given a stuffed caiman, which looked frightening like the
real one Stevo had been holding when they first met. To Caley he gave a
lioness, explaining they were the real hunters of the pride. Bryna got a stuffed fuzzy grey Koala; that
filled the young Hestian so full of joy she ran up and kissed Stevo on the
cheek.
“Crikey!” he exclaimed with a wide
grin. The grin vanished however when he saw the angry scowl on Xerox’s face. To
hopefully placate the young hero Stevo tossed Xerox a gray elephant saying,
“Elephants are brave and very protective.” Xerox beamed.
To Adriana he gave a red fox. That
made the thief laugh, “How did you ever guess that was my favorite animal?”
Lastly Stevo gave Johann Fair Play
a six foot stuffed yellow snake, which immediately gave the young Viking the
heebie-jeebies. He hated snakes so much that he passed it off to Bryna, who was
elated.
It was well after dark when Olaf
and his team returned to the Mycenae Palace. Bryna, by now, had wangled ALL the
stuffed animals out of her companions. Bryna kind of wobbled as she walked
while trying to juggle all of the stuffed animals in her arms. Inside Ofeelya’s
victory party was in full swing. When the group entered, not only was all of
Ofeelya’s crew there but all the rest of Olaf’s as well.
Draped in the lion skin rug Ofeelya
stopped doing her form of a 60’s cage dance on one of the tables long enough to
call out to the two Olaf’s that her eyes almost saw. “Hey here, come on up and
join the party.” As for himself, Olaf was tired and partying was the last thing
he wanted, but he looked to the others beside him to see what they felt like
doing.
Youth having been restored to
Ragnar so recently, he wasn’t about to let a little thing like exhaustion stop
him from a good party. “Sure Ofeelya, I will never say, ‘No’ to king
Epidermis’s fine wine.” Ragnar stood back, smiled, and then bellowed for all
the hear “PARTY!”
“Me too!” Johann Fair Play piped
in.
Xerox was torn, he wanted to be one
to guys and do guy stuff too, with the guys, yet at the same time he wanted to
guard and protect his women.
“So are you with us my boy?” Ragnar
asked Xerox.
“Sure!” he said, but just the same he glanced over at Caley for
assurance.
Caley smiled at the young hero. “Go
have some fun if you are up for it. Right now all I want is a long soaky bath
and a soft bed to sleep in.”
Similar thoughts crossed Adriana’s
mind. “Oh yeah a bath sounds wonderful.”
Bryna loved parties. Bryna loved
wine, yet as much as she would have loved dashing to the table and joining the
crowd, Bryna was also very very tired and knew she had just about enough energy
left to find her room, say a quick prayer to Hestia, finish naming her new
stuffed friends, before throwing herself into the arms of Morpheus. “I’ll make a pass too. Hestia says eight
hours of sleep is important to keep a happy body clock! She also says that
tomatoes will someday make fine catsup but she also says that has nothing to do
with real cats.” Bryna spoke with a yawn.
Ofeelya and her team, having
arrived first, would then leave first the next morning. Since only the team
leader and one teammate were allowed to participate on the main quests, Helga was Ofeelya’s
choice for this quest to kill the Hydra. They were given a speedy chariot and directions to Lake
Lerna to search for the serpent. The rest of her team followed on horseback.
When they reached the Hydra’s
hiding place, Ofeelya hollered a warning to the rest of her team, “If either
one of us fall, stand your ground lest we anger the gods.” Being told to not
help if help was needed left a bad taste in the mouths of Ofeelya’s Viking
teammates.
With that order given Ofeelya and
Helga let out a Viking yell, which all but put the Hydra’s many fangs on edge,
and charged the serpent with swords and axes. Yet after some twenty minutes of
stabbing and hacking the women found themselves facing a Hydra not with nine
thrashing heads but fourteen.
Three hours later when the Puce
team left the palace, Caley was Olaf’s charioteer. By the time their chariot
had come to the swamp near Lake Lerna, she had filled Olaf in on every detail
of Hercules’s battle with the Hydra. It was obvious the moment they drove up
that Ofeelya did not have a clue as to how to dispatch the monster she was
fighting. With Helga dead on the muddy ground the Viking leader now battled a
writhing mass of Hydra heads alone.
Although Caley had no love for
Ofeelya and would enjoy putting a few holes in the ex-Valkyrie, she didn’t want
to see her die this way. Leaping off the back of the chariot Caley grabbed a
piece of dry wood from the ground, allowed a small ball of fire to burst forth
in her hand and ignite the wood. At the moment she didn’t care about the
contest or the gods or anything but defeating the monster at hand.
“You cut, I’ll burn!” Caley
exclaimed holing up the touch.
“Why would you risk the wrath of
the gods by helping me?” Ofeelya shouted at Caley as she slashed at a head that
came in at her.
“I offer help. If you want it, it
is yours and it is I who the gods will be pissed at. If you prefer to fight and
die like your friend, then do so before that monster gets any bigger.” Caley
hissed back.
To accept help from Caley galled
Ofeelya, yet she was tiring and the fangs of one than another and another of
the Hydra’s heads seemed to come closer to biting her with each strike. “Come!”
she finally yelled out to Caley.
“Are you sure you want to do this
Caley?” Olaf asked.
Caley smiled, “If anyone kills
Ofeelya it’s going to be me.” With that she bolted toward the battle.
When Adriana, Bryna, Xerox, Ragnar
and Johann rode up they surprised to see Olaf standing with the other team and
Caley fighting side by side with Ofeelya.
“What in Tartarus is Caley doing
helping Ofeelya?” Adriana asked Olaf.
“I know what Caley said, but I
think she really just wants to fight that monster.” Olaf answered.
Adriana nodded, "Yup that
sounds about right."
Forty-five more minutes of hacking and burning and the Hydra was down to his
last head. "Now what?" Ofeelya asked Caley.
“Now you're on your own. Hercules had to strangle the last head, so I
guess you do too. But hey, I had fun!” Caley said over shoulder as she walked
back to where the rest of the group stood.
“You considered ‘that’ fun?”
Adriana asked Caley.
“Oh yeah!” Caley said with a
panting breath.
“But can you fight another one of
those things again?” Olaf now asked.
“No problem, when I help you I
won’t be using a touch.” Turning both her palms up Caley allowed fire to begin
to grow.
“No matter how many times I see
that it never ceases to amaze me.” Olaf said.
“Well if it amazes you, lets just
say it blows me away every time I find that I CAN still do it.” Caley laughed.
A few minutes later Ofeelya was
victorious when she again managed to get her thighs around the Hydra’s neck and
began to squeeze the life out of the beast. She released her grip on the
beast’s neck only when she was sure it was dead. Unlike with the first quest
Ofeelya was in no mood to celebrate, a Viking crewmember and friend was
dead. Ofeelya tried to pull Helga’s
body out from under the dead Hydra but the weight of the serpent was too great.
For a warrior to die in battle
there was no greater honor and Ofeelya was happy that Helga would now join the
others in the hall of the slain heroes in Valhalla. But for herself, she felt
great sadness for the loss of a friend. The other Vikings felt much the same.
Xerox was young enough to believe that dying bravely in battle was an honor.
Caley had been a warrior long enough to know that there was no great honor in
dying. The only honor in fighting a battle was to survive. So even though she
would continue to play this God’s game and risk her own life, she only felt the
sadness for Helga’s death. The only code that Adriana had ever lived by was the
“Thieves’ Code”. Which was, “Steal what you can and run like hell before you
get caught”. She let out a sigh,
knowing the body under that monster could just as well have been hers or
Caley’s or Bryna’s or Xerox’s. Yet while her friends were willing to face
danger and death, Adriana would be at their sides. Bryna asked Hestia why the
Viking woman had died and goddess answered honestly. “It was what the other
gods wanted.” Whether or not Bryna approved, the young Hestian never said, even
to Hestia. She simply nodded and accepted the fact that woman was dead.
Olaf was the first to go try to help his counterpart. Before many
more minutes passed everyone had thrown themselves into the effort to move the
monstrous creature. Yet the behemoth would still not budge. In the end Ofeelya
decided to cremate the Hydra with Helga. Therefore when Helga entered Valhalla
she would be have the Hydra as her prize. To anyone who understood the
Warrior’s code this was a great honor to Helga.
Day faded into night as the
funereal pyre burned on. For those who stood vigil there seemed to be no sound
except for the crackling of the all-consuming fire. By dawn the next day the flames waned, as they finally died
another Hydra was born.
Drawing his sword, Olaf glazed over
at Caley and said, “Looks like we’re up!”
A smile spread across Caley’s face
as she made her hand alight with fire. “Let’s do it!”
Working together Olaf and Caley
slashed and burned the Hydra until only the one immortal head was left. Every
time Olaf tried to move in to get close enough to grab the writhing head, it
would jerk away only to strike out with even more ferocity than it had with the
help of the other eight heads. Olaf’s next try would have been his last if the
Hydra’s fangs had connected with flesh instead of Athena’s helmet. As it was
the Viking was thrown hard face down into the mud with the snake’s mouth open
and ready to strike again.
Caley waved her hand and screamed
out to try to distract the monster. When it turned to face her she threw
fireball after fireball into the creature’s open mouth. Now it was the Hydra’s
turn to scream, if only it could have. It shook its head violently from side to
side and struck out blindly where Caley had been but wasn’t now. Again and
again she blasted the Hydra with fire until it became a living funeral pyre.
“Caley, kill the Hydra!” A voice
whispered into Caley’s ear. “Take your sword and plunge it into the Hydra’s
heart.”
From her experiences with Bryna,
Caley knew better then question the words of a god, but she would be no god’s
puppet. She played by her own rules or at least rules she chose to follow. And
there was no way she would cheat Olaf out of his kill. “Olaf use your sword to
stab the Hydra in the heart, I think that will kill it!” Caley pointed to where
she wanted him to strike.
Olaf drove his sword to the hilt
into the flaming monster’s chest and then jerked it out just as abruptly. The
Hydra twisted in agony once more than collapsed.
“Now drip your arrows into the
Hydra’s blood to make them poisonous. Just in case there is anything down the
line that needs to be shot with poison arrows, that is.” Bryna said.
“Huh?” Olaf asked.
“Don’t ask, just do it.” Caley
said, speaking from experience.
After everyone dripped their arrows
into the poison, Bryna then turned to Caley, “Hestia says if you can put the
fire out the Hydra should be buried at the side of the road leading from Lerna
to Elaeus, and for good measure, it should be covered with a heavy rock.” The
others uttered small groans as the perky Hestian finished speaking.
Caley smiled at Bryna but shook her
head, “No Bryna, we will let this one burn too. I don’t think anyone here is
much in the mood to do anymore quest stuff, for now at least.”
“Okay!” Bryna said with a shrug.
“Then in that case, can we go back to the palace, I’m hungry.”
“Sure Bryna.” Caley laughed as she
headed back to where the chariots were parked. At a touch on her shoulder she
turned to see Ofeelya.
“I just wanted to thank you for
helping me today. I still don’t understood why, but thank you.” Ofeelya said.
Caley smiled back at Ofeelya.
“You’re welcome! Now as to WHY I helped you…” she paused a thoughtful look
coming over her face. “To be honest, it just seemed like the right thing to do
at the time. Sometime before this quest is over I might need your help. So
maybe instead of putting knife in my back, you’ll help me.”
“Is that’s how it works?” Ofeelya
smirked.
Caley nodded. “Yup! I think so.”
“Well, I must admit the thought of
stubbing you in the back is almost as pleasurable as the thought of taking that
handsome Greek boy for a ride.” Ofeelya almost purred as she said the last
word.
“Gee, it’s nice to know that
killing me is right up there with having sex.” Caley laughed as she turned back
toward her chariot.
Ofeelya choked out a laugh of her
own before saying, “Thanks again. I do owe you.”
He made a war cry as loud as his
God’s lungs would allow and then calmed down. “Now that was a quest!” Ares said
with all the glee of a kid given his first ice cream cone. “Violence and
bloodshed balanced with just a touch of comedy and pathos.”
“Pathos!” Zeus coughed as his
swallow of Ambrosia went down wrong in his throat. “You mean to tell me you
were actually sad when that Viking girl was killed?” The king of the gods asked
incredulously.
“Oh no, that was the best part. And
Ofeelya hacking away at that Hydra and all those new heads popping up like …
like popcorn. That was damn funny. What I thought was sad was the crushed look
on Athena’s face when Caley didn’t obey her and kill the Hydra. Poor Athena, did that mean old Caley not
want to be your new Gal Pal?” Ares taunted Athena.
“Shut up Ares!” Athena growled.
“You really do resemble a warthog in heat. As for the girl, she will be
punished for her impudence.”
“Punish what girl?” Hestia asked as
she entered the Great Hall. “Did I hear someone talking about punishing a
girl?”
“Athena wants to punish Caley.”
Ares said quickly hoping for a catfight. “What are ya gonna do about that?”
“And why would you want to hurt Caley?” Hestia asked.
“I told her to kill the Hydra, yet
she gave that knowledge to the Viking man Olaf, and he killed the creature. For
disobeying me Caley must be punished.” Athena stated.
“I agree!” said Hera. “And I have
some very interesting new ideas on punishing mortals.” Hera was positively
giddy with the thoughts running in her mind.
“Oh I don’t think anyone is going
to be punished tonight.” Hestia answered with a smile and her hands on her
hips. “It was Caley’s job in this quest for her to ‘HELP’ Olaf kill the Hydra.
Well, you must admit she HELPED!”
“Ha!” Zeus laughed.
“She’s got you there, Sis.” Ares
added to Athena and felt good inside as he watched his sister squirm. Seeing
Athena squirm always felt about as good as seeing four men die in a fistfight.
All assembled could have sworn that
smoke rose from Athena’s pours as she watched a happy Ares. “But she wasn’t
supposed to HELP the Ofeelya woman.”
“Funny I don’t remember it that
way. When we made up the rules we never mentioned anything about a helper…
well, helping. Did we my dear brother?” Hestia was all but gleaming at her
manipulations.
“Oh, why am I always put in the
middle of these things?” Zeus thought to himself. After heaving a sigh, the
king of the gods said aloud, “No Sis!” That got him a smile from Hestia, but
scowls from Athena and Hera. “Oh boy, it is going to be Tartartus around here
for awhile.” Zeus thought. He then thought of a way to take the heat and Hera’s
icy cold eyes off of him. “Okay everyone, let’s talk about the next quest.”
Though Hera still had that, “You’ll
be sleeping on the couch until the end of time”, look on her face, she smiled
and said, “Oh yes the next quest. Let’s see DEAR husband, what is it going to
be?”
Hera’s emphasis on the word, ‘DEAR’
was enough to make a grown god cringe, but Zeus managed to keep his voice at
least strong. “Olaf and Ofeelya will have to capture the Hind of Ceryneia.”
When
Artemis heard that, she went ballistic all over the room. Literally. She
screamed, she yelled, she shot flaming arrows into the night sky, which became
shooting stars. Besides all of that she kicked a column hard enough to injure
her own foot.
“Calm
down kitten, no harm will come to your little deer. Your lion skin rugs were
returned to you in good condition, weren’t they?” Zeus pleaded with his
daughter.
“Good
condition!” Artemis shouted as she grabbed up the rugs and thrust them at her
father. “Does THIS look like good condition to you? Look here on this one, WINE
STAINS… and … and, it reeks of bratwurst and sauerkraut and this, this looks
like mustard. And look at this other one.”
She pushed the face of the other lion skin almost in Zeus’s face. In life this black maned lion had been the
proud leader of his pride, but for the last half dozen years since Artemis had
felled him with one of her arrows, he had been nothing more than a foot warmer
for the goddess of the hunt. Now, if it
had been possible for the lion to grin, he would be grinning from ear-to-ear.
His mane had been braided into a series of dreadlocks and right in the center
of his forehead was pretty blue bow.
“Well
kitten, it…” Zeus paused while he looked for the right words, coming up with
nothing, he settled for, “it really looks kind of … a … cute!
“Cute!
CUTE!” Artemis ranted. “It’s ruined! RUINED! And I know just who did it too.”
She turned her angry gaze on Hestia. “It was that ditz of yours. She did it!
And I am going to make her pay.” Artemis fingered one of the Lion’s dreadlocks,
pouting, and then biting her lip at her fathers waning grin.
“No
you will not young lady! What is it with you people? All you think about is
punishing mortals.” Hestia said as she crossed the marble floor to where
Artemis stood. “If I even THINK you would hurt that child or Caley or any of
her friends…” She paused letting her words sink in. “You won’t ever be able to
sit down again and you will need to bare that other bow arm as well, if you get
my godly gist!”
“Are
you threatening me?” Artemis asked incredulously.
“Not
a threat my young Artemis, a promise. You hurt them, I hurt you, problem and
solution.” Hestia said then added, “Oh yes, have a nice day.”
Artemis
turned to Zeus. “Daddy she’s threatened me!”
Zeus
rolled his eyes suddenly wishing he had gone fishing with Poseidon. It took only one glance over at Hestia to
find his voice. “Artemis, go to your room.”
“But
daddy!” Artemis winded. “You don’t see my point. If these mortals could ruin my
lion skins they could hurt Bambi, my deer.”
Zeus
let out a sigh as he pointed his finger in the direction of Artemis’s room.
“Room, NOW!”
Remembering
something Artemis had once seen on MTV, she made a gesture with the middle
finger of her right hand in Zeus’s direction before stomping off to her room.
Turning
back to the others he said with a clap of his hands. “All righty! Hestia, you
can tell King Epidermis the hunt to capture the Hind is on. I’ll make up
another Hind. After all, two hinds better than one!” Zeus laughed, liking the
joke he had just made. When no one else joined in his laughter, he cleared his
throat and added, “Oh yes, and make sure you tell him that the Hinds are not be
injured in any way.” Zeus thought about his feisty child and cringed.
“Oh
I will!” Hestia answered with a smile.
Olaf
and Ofeelya decided on the ride back to the palace that both teams should leave
and return together no matter who finished first. As for himself, King
Epidermis didn’t care whether they all left together or not. All he was worried
about was if the gods cared. But since no bolt of lightening struck either him
or the two Viking leaders he gave his, “Okay!” To hopefully cheer up the somber
mood that everyone seemed to be in, the king told Ofeelya she could pick a
replacement team member from her remaining crew. Ingrid Burgen shot her hand up
into the air and all shouted, “Me! Me pick me!”
At
the dawn the next day fourteen members of both the Puce and Persimmon teams
left for Ceryneia, about 80 kilometers to the northeast from Mycenae. After
three days of riding and three nights camping out with Bryna and her telling of
Greek myths and legends Bryna style, the group was more than happy to reach the
outskirts of Ceryneia.
Since Caley was the
first to speak up, Nikolaos gave her the best room in the Inn, The Aphrodite
Suite. Yes, once again our trio found themselves standing in front the
Bridal Suite, again with its picture of Aphrodite holding a glass of Champagne
and winking.
Adriana let out a
loud piercing scream. While nearly everyone in at least this wing of the Inn
jumped of a foot, Caley merely turned to her friend and said, “You feel better
now?”
“Not really! But I
won’t scream again IF the room isn’t pink.” Adriana said as she opened the door
and looked in. Well it wasn’t JUST pink. After she let out another ear
splitting scream, which this time she did admit made her feel somewhat better,
she entered what could only be described a passion paradise pit in pink and
purple.
This Bridal Suite
like all the others, it seemed, consisted of a large central room and two
sleeping alcoves, one to the right and one to the left. There was a pit in the
middle of the room for a campfire. There was a bed in each sleeping area with a
purple bedspread, and a fold away bed had also been brought in and discretely
placed in the second alcove. Being the Bridal Suite there were heart shaped
pillows everywhere. A small table sat near the window with a pink and
purple-checkered tablecloth. The window looked down on the center courtyard of
the Inn.
Near the door was a small kitchenette with a cold-water pump. Just to the
side was a hot tub and shelf with 18 flavors of eatable massage oils, olive,
peach, kiwi, mango, Maui Wowoui, Xhosa, lemon, cherry and Trojan Blueberry
among them.
The moment Bryna
stepped into the room she said, “Dibs on the bath!” With that she stripped off
her temple dress, got into the empty tub and sat down.
Caley laughed, gave
a wink to Adriana and then said, “Well I guess Bryna isn’t hungry.”
“No, she would much
rather sit naked in an empty tub then go down to dinner.” Adriana added with
glee.
“Food!” Bryna cooed
as she got out of the tub and started for the door. “Lets go!”
“Ah, Bryna, don’t
you think you’re missed something?” Caley questioned, barely able to keep a
straight face.
Bryna looked around
and then down. “Oh, right… SHOES! I can’t go anywhere without shoes.”
The mere thought of
Bryna walking down to the dining room stark naked, except for her shoes, of
course, made both Caley and Adriana burst into near uncontrolled giggles. “Get
dressed Bryna!” Caley said between giggles. “And I mean you should put on more
then your shoes.”
Bryna considered,
though she found nothing wrong with being naked she gave a nod and put on a
clean duplicate of her discarded Temple dress. Now that she was in “EATING”
mode, Caley almost found herself being dragged out of the room before she had
finished buttoning her own clean shirt.
Before entering the
dining room Caley stopped by the main desk to request the hot tub be filled by
the time she returned to her room. Nikolaos Nopapopolis smiled widely at the
lovely red head. “Yes, at once. Your bath will be ready, even if I have to do
it personally.
Caley smiled back
and thanked the man, though she seriously doubted Nikolaos had ever done manual
labor.
Food must have been
on everyone’s mind, for Olaf, Ragnar, Xerox and Johann were already inside the
dining room. Caley, Adriana and Bryna had barely gotten seated when Ofeelya and
her team entered and joined the group. The menu boasted of the finest venison
steaks in all of Greece. They had Hind Steaks, Filet of Hind, Rack of Hind, BBQ
Hind ribs, Hind chops, Hind Pot Roast, Hind kabobs, Macaroni and Hind with a cheese
sauce, Hind meatloaf with gravy, Hind Brisket and Cabbage, Spaghetti with Hind
balls, Hind wings, Tuna and Hind Casserole. From the far Far East, San
Francisco Hind Chow Main and Hind Fu Young could be your palette’s delight. For sandwiches they had, Hind burgers and
Hind dogs, a delicious Hind on Rye with mustard and pickles, Hind salad
sandwich, Hind Gyros, Welsh Hind and for the south of the boarder taste, Hind
Tacos, a large Hindrito, refried Hind Beans and Hind Cheese-a-ditos. The
special of the day was Welsched Hind and boiled potatoes They also had the
usual, beef, pork, chicken and fish dishes. Almost everyone went with the Hind
Steaks. Ofeelya however opted for the Hind Pot Roast. Xerox ordered a super cut
Hind Prime Rib. Finally it was left up to Bryna. She read and reread the menu.
She wasn’t really in the mood for a salad. Fruit wasn’t really what she wanted
either. “What do I want?” she asked herself out loud.
“Well, what DO you
want to eat?” Adriana snapped.
“Actually,” Bryna
said as the thought of a delicious taste began to form in her mind. “I want
CORN cooked in a wine sauce served over wild rice and some baby peas on the
side.”
The waitress, Sue,
was just about to say they didn’t serve corn that way, when Caley whispered
what ‘CORN’ really meant.
“Oooh!”
Sue said as at least some understanding set in. “Yeah lady, we got rabbit.” She
said loud enough for everyone at the table to hear. Fortunately Bryna was
thanking Hestia and didn’t hear. Turning to Bryna Sue then stated, “Ma’am the
chef can fix you CORN any way you want it.” She turned back to Caley and
winked.
“Good!” Bryna
answered. “Then that is the way I want it and I want a tankard of ale too, to
start.”
Caley shot her a
threatening glance on that last word, but Bryna pretend she didn’t see it.
Dinner went
quietly, since Bryna was too engrossed in her “CORN” to even think about
telling one of her long-winded stories. Everyone finally pushed themselves away
from the table, said their “Goodnights” and then drifted back to their rooms.
After at least
three more tankards of ale Bryna thanked Hestia profusely for the food, the
ale, the fire in the hearth and everything else she could think of. Bryna also
managed to thank nearly all the servers and a few of the remaining patrons as
well for her great meal, even as Caley and Adriana pushed her ahead of them.
With Bryna having
broken out in a chorus of 99 bottles of ale on the wall, Adriana growling about
wanting to drown Bryna and Caley own slight buzz, when the three reached their
room and found the door standing open, the warrior woman reacted on instinct.
Though she had left her swords inside, she was still armed. Drawing a dagger
from her boot, Caley charged into the room screaming like a banshee. The two
women that had come up from Housekeeping to the fill the hot tub, screamed as
well, dropped their pals into the tub, and ran still screaming from the room.
“Oops!” Caley
gasped as the women ran past her.
Adriana’s humor
never seemed the dim. “Gee, you think it was something you said.”
Putting away her
dagger, Caley smirked, “Nah! They must have remembered something they had to do
elsewhere.”
“BATH!” Bryna
announced a little thickly.
“Bryna, I don’t
think you are in any condition to take a bath alone. As drunk as you are, I’m
afraid you’ll drown if I leave you by yourself.” Caley said with concern.
“Oh Zeus Caley can
you promise that?” Adriana joked. But the scowl her friend threw back at her
was no joke.
“I’m not drunk, I’m
just happy!” Bryna said.
“If you were any
happier, you couldn’t walk.”
“Caley!” Bryna
exclaimed as she shrugged off her Temple dress and climbed somewhat awkwardly
into the tub. “Then why don’t we all just get in the tub together? It’s a big
tub and there are all fruity bath oils to try and any way Hestia says you and
Adriana’s butts must be as achy as mine after riding all day. And lets face it,
you two do smell a bit.”
That made Caley
laugh and she did want a bath. “Okay Bryna, you win.”
“I resent that she
says I smell! Adriana huffed. Adriana then turned and sniffed her own armpit.
“Oh!” she said with a small knowing smile.
Grinning Caley
started making sniffing sounds in the Thief’s direction. “Well, we do both
smell a little horsy. Come on let’s do it. Besides I have longed for one of
your fabulous back rubs.”
“I’d rather a bath
alone.” Adriana growled.
“So would I, but…”
Caley pointed toward Bryna, who was beginning to drift off sleep and as she
drifted she began to sink. Caley quickly grabbed the Bryna at the nap of her neck
to hold her head out of the water. “Hestia says!” was the warrior woman’s final
card.
This worked.
Adriana rolled over and looked from Caley to Bryna. “Well gee, how can I, a
mere mortal, say no to both her highness Bryna AND Hestia. Prop up the Princess
while I get in and then I will hold her while you get in.”
“Works for me.”
“Awwww!” the thief
almost purred as she the warm water began to relax her sore muscles. “I may
never get out.”
“Oh yes you will,
as soon as the water starts getting cold.” Caley said over her shoulder as she
moved back into the other room. She started remove her clothing but then turned
to the door. With a smile she opened the door, placed the “DO NOT DISTURB” sign
out, closed and locked the door before stripping off her garments and slipping
into tub next to Bryna.
“Oh that! You don’t
suppose we will be able to get those women to come back?”
“They still think
that I was going to gut them, doubtful.” Caley answered.
“I don’t suppose
you would want heat some more water for me, would you?” Adriana teased.
“Just about as much
as you would.” Caley replied with a laugh. “I will rub your back if you rub
mine.”
“Oh
me too! Me too! I haven’t had a good back rub in ages.” Bryna cut in suddenly
awake again.
“You got it,
Princess!” Adriana smirked as she rolled her eyes.
“Bryna!” Bryna
said.
“What?” Adriana
asked.
“Oh Adriana, you
really aren’t very smart. I’m Bryna, not Princess. Though when I was back the
Temple I once did have a chicken that I called, Princess. But one day Princess
started to crow so, Princess became Prince.”
“Oh Zeus!” Adriana
exclaimed.
“No not Zeus,
Prince! Zeus was a pig.”
The next morning
the Questors from both teams met in the main dinning hall for breakfast. The
breakfast menu boasted many fine egg dishes besides the usual Bacon and Eggs,
there was, the famous meat lovers breakfast: Hind, Bacon, Sausage, Ham, Eggs
and Hash Browns, all that, and for a dinar more, got you either Gaul Toast or
Pancakes. There were ten different Omelets, many of those made with Hind.
With their bellies
full and spirits high, both teams rode off on their first day in search of the
Cerynian Hind. Yet at days end the Questors returned to the Hind Inn with
nothing to show for their efforts. For the next three weeks the group saw
little sign of any deer let alone Artemis’s Hind. After another week of
fruitless searching, Ragnar proposed to the rest of the group that only the four people that had to do the
quest, Ofeelya and Arla and Olaf and Bryna, should be the ones to go out on
daily basis. Of course neither Caley nor Xerox liked the idea of not being able
to keep Bryna in their sight. Adriana however looked on any time without Bryna
as a vacation. It seemed that others felt much the same as Adriana.
For
the fourth quest, King Epidermis ordered Olaf and Ofeelya to bring him the
Erymanthian boar alive. Both Vikings had hunted and killed wild boar before,
but neither had ever even thought of capturing one alive.
“It will be a challenge.” Olaf more
or less mumbled to himself.
“A stupid and dangerous challenge.”
Ofeelya added. “But if you’re in, I’m in.”
“We’re in!” Olaf said for the both
of them.
“Who will you have helping you on
this quest?” The king asked.
“Lathgertha!”
Ofeelya said with hesitation.
Olaf
looked out at his group. “Johann?” he thought to himself. “No, he looks like he
is going to throw up any minute. The girl, Adriana … humm …” he let that
thought play a moment. “No, she could mostly likely steal one, but help capture
one… I don’t just don’t know.” Then Olaf’s eyes fell on the very satisfied
smile of the young would-be hero Xerox. “Why are you smiling boy?” he asked.
Xerox’s
grin seemed to widen even more. “Cause, even though wild boars are huge pigs with tusks growing out
of their mouths and a nasty temper, my brothers and I used to chase them down all
the time back when we were kids. I was the only one that never got gored.”
Allowing his chest to swell Xerox flashed another grin as he looked over at
Bryna and she smiled proudly back. “Dad always said that I was the only one who
really understood pork.”
“Okay kid,
I guess you’re my man.”
Xerox
beamed with joy.
Mount Erymanthus was located to the
south in the high forest region of Arcadia.
It would be another long ride for the Questors and it would be cold in
the mountains this time of the year, so plenty of food and warm clothing was
packed for the journey. Two week’s traveling brought them to another “Amazing
Quest” game box and team flags. Ofeelya opened the box and pulled one of the
envelopes. She read message aloud. “DETOUR: Visit the centaur Pholus for dinner
and wine. What’s a ‘Centaur’?” She abruptly asked.
Bryna was about to once again show
her great knowledge of myths and legends, but Caley began speaking fast.
“Centaurs were a race of creatures, that were half human and half horse. They
were human from head to waist, but their lower torso from chest and forelegs to
rear legs and tail was all horse…”
“Interesting!” Ofeelya almost
purred. “So centaurs really were hung like a…”
“Ofeelya! Don’t go there.” Olaf interrupted.
“Poo!” Ofeelya exhaled.
“Caley rolled her eyes as she
continued. “They once inhabited the mountain regions of Thessaly and Arcadia.
BUT up until now, I believed were all long dead.”
“Yes! Remember in Hercules’s boring
boar labor he killed Pholus, so how can we have dinner with him?” Bryna asked
“I guess it’s the same way we got
two Hydras and the Hinds… ZEUS!” Caley answered.
“Oh that Zeus!” Bryna responded.
“That King of the God’s has a sense of humor just like Sister Betty Goodman
back at the Temple. She really wanted to play the clarinet but that never
worked out”.
“Go on Ofeelya, what does the rest
of the message say?” Olaf then asked.
She was still pouting, but went on,
“It just says, Pholus lives in a cave near Mount Erymanthus and there’s a map
that shows the way.”
“Good! Let’s go!” Olaf answered.
The drifting snow made the trail
both difficult and dangerous, Xerox’s horse sank up to its belly at one point
and had to be pulled out and Dagmar’s mount nearly walked off into a crevasse. But fortunately the group managed to reach Pholus’s cave with
only a few scratches and a touch of frostbite on one of Jonina’s toes. As the
group dismounted, Bryna stopped them before they could enter. “Hestia says we
should enjoy the meal, drink as much wine as I want, BUT keep your weapons
ready to be ready at all times.”
Caley glanced at the entrance as
she spoke. “Did she give you any idea of what kind of an attack we should
expect?”
“Nope! She just said to be ready.”
Bryna answered and then added “and drink wine”.
Each looked around at the others in
the group, until Caley finally answered for the rest. “We are!”
The cave looked and smelled like
your basic stable however Pholus the Centaur was a polite host. He introduced
himself and bid them all to sit down. Of course since centaurs don’t sit down
there were no chairs. The group found several usable boulders however.
All in the group were in awe of the
magnificent creature. Pholus had a rugged, yet handsome face; his hair and
beard were a dark brown. His chest and arms were well muscled and if he were a
man, one would say he was in his mid thirties. That of him which was horse, was
also strong and well muscled. As a horse his coloring was that of a bay, three
of his four legs were white from the top of his hooves to his hocks and his
tail was long and full.
Bryna thought it would be neat to
go for a ride on his back, because you not only could go for a nice gallop, you
could also have someone to talk to. Ofeelya on the other hand had a totally
different type of riding on her mind.
Pholus held up several freshly
killed rabbits. “Dinner!” he stated.
Caley and Adriana looked at each
other in mock terror; it appeared that their “CORN” secret was about to be
blown.
Even though centaurs eat their meat
raw, the centaur graciously offered to cook the share of food set aside for the
Questors, which was much appreciated by all.
Bryna winced at the sight of so
many dead bunnies, “I am sorry Mr. Photo, but I do not eat meat, but if you
have some corn I will eat that.”
Caley and Adriana blew a sigh of
relief and tried to keep from laughing.
The smell of the cooking rabbits
filled the cave with mouth-watering goodness. “How about some wine to warm our
insides and take our minds off the cooking meat?” Olaf asked.
“Yes, wine!” Bryna said licking her
lips.
As if programmed Pholus replied, “I
only have one cask, which was a gift from Dionysus, and common property of all
the centaurs that live on the mountain.”
“You mean there are more like you
where you came from, big guy?” Though Ofeelya said it in her same sexual tone,
her right hand moved to rest on one of her throwing axes. The others picked up
on that, but Olaf pressed Pholus again to open the cask.
“All right, but let me warn you
that the others will be angry when they find out,” Pholus said as he
reluctantly opened the cask. Just as it happened before, as soon as the seal
was broken the heavy aroma of strong wine drifted down through the forest. The
other centaurs caught the heavy scent from the wine, and came to see who had
violated their precious gift.
As they approached they started to
arm themselves with rocks and stout fir branches, but Hestia whispered, “Peace!
Quench your thirst and when the cask is empty you are free to fight if that is
still your wish or desire.”
“Hestia, what are you up to?” Zeus
asked his sister.
“Well, Ares wants a battle, but
just having an all out slugfest doesn’t seem like all that much fun to me. It’s
common; it’s been there done that. BUT after everyone has drunk their fill from
the “NOW” never ending cask… then we will see who walks or should I say crawls
away.” Hestia said.
“Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! My dear sister you
can be so bad when you want to be bad.”
More than a dozen centaurs entered
the cave, they were still armed but their demeanor was no longer hostile. Still
their entry brought the Questors to their feet and weapons at the ready. Pholus
put himself between the factions and held up the cask. “Wine!” He said. “Once
opened it should be drunk. Come
Brothers join my guests and drink with us.”
Thirst for the wine of Dionysus won
out. Everyone filled their cups,
toasted each other and drank. The wine was delicious; it had taste and a
cunning allure like nothing any human had ever tasted before. Humans and
centaurs ate and drunk and told tales. Day turned to night and the party still
went on. However, just about the time the humans and centaurs alike were seeing
multiple versions of their counterparts, Hestia whispered first to the centaurs
and then to each of the Questors, with the exception of Bryna who had been
having an animated conversation with a wall hanging of a centaur for the last
twenty minutes.
“Combat boots?” Olaf slurred, “Of
course my mother worn combat boots, she was a warrior. But what business is
that of yours?”
Pirithous stared blankly at the
three Olafs. ”You talk funny! And you don’t smell so good either.”
Olaf sniffed himself. “You know
horsetail, you got a point. I stink like a like horse!” Pirithous was a centaur
of few words; he picked up his discarded club and whopped Olaf over the head.
The Viking dropped like a rock.
The fight began and while it
remained fists against fists it might have lasted for hours without anyone
ending up with more than a few bruises. But Eurytion made the mistake of
throwing a rock at Bryna. He missed by two Brynas, but Caley saw him do it. And
that was enough for a death sentence to be pronounced. He had just picked up
another rock when Caley sent an arrow into the centaur’s shoulder. She had
aimed for his heart and the wine had dulled her aim. Yet this was one of the
arrows that had been dipped in the hydra’s poisonous blood. Eurytion let out a
painful scream as the poison did its work. The other centaurs grabbed their
weapons and to the gods’ delight, especially to Ares delight, blood was spilled
on both sides.
Swords slashed and stabbed and cut,
rocks were hurled, clubs were wielded, axes were thrown, arrows fired, and in
the end there was only the sounds of the wounded gasping. Among the humans
amazingly enough no one had been killed. Olaf, Lathgertha, Dagmar, and Ingrid
all had varying degrees of concussions from being hit on their heads. Caley had
her left shoulder dislocated. Adriana got a badly sprained foot when a centaur
stepped on it. Xerox had a whole lot of bruised ribs and a banged up knee when
he jumped up on one of the centaur’s back and tried to strangle the creature.
The centaur threw the young hero off his back and into a very hard wall. Ragnar
would look like one big bruise for the rest of the week from when he went
toe-to-toe and fist-to-fist with not one but two centaurs. Johann Fair Play
would not be able to sit down for a week from being kicked in the pants by a
centaur. The rest faired little better, with the exception of Bryna of course.
After being unable to strike up a conversation with the wall hanging centaur
she finally curled up in the floor between two boulders and passed blissfully
out. As for the centaurs, they had all vanished by the time everyone had
awakened.
The battered and hung over Questors
decided to stay in the cave until their wounds healed. They stayed ten days
before returning to the hunt. But after only a few more days of travel in the
cold mountain air, the group began to think more of shelter then of the quest.
Salvation came in the form of a sign along the trail. It read, “The Boring Boar Ski
Lodge and Bowling Ally… 3 Full Bars and Hickory pit!”
“Yum, a
hickey pit barbeque!” Xerox breathed almost tasting barbequed pork.
“Three
full bars!” Bryna cooed.
“I think
Bryna needs to join Tipplers’ Anonymous.” Adriana almost giggled.
Caley had
to agree.
The Boring
Boar was a typical three-story log and rock ski lodge. The ski lift was driven
by six oxen harnessed to a mill type wheel connected by cables to a series of
pulleys. Chairs were fixed to cables that were hung from tall poles spaced at
equal distances up the side of the mountain. When oxen were made to move, the
cable turned on the wheel and pulleys causing the chairs to glide to the top
where skiers then got off and skied back down the mountain. The group of
Questors were very impressed by the whole operation. Though none of the group
skied they all thought it might be fun to take a ride on the lift.
Caley and
Adriana made sure they got to the front desk first. “We need fourteen rooms.”
Caley said to the desk clerk John Phillip Von Ski bum, a small but pretentious
man who had known former glory on the Grecian Olympic Ski Team having won both
the solemn and grand solemn races at Innsbruck.
“And NO
ONE wants the Bridal Suite!” Adriana added while making a gagging motion to
herself.
The desk
clerk looked the two women up and down as if assessing them but did not say a
word. It wasn’t until the others showed up that the man smiled widely and began
to look at his register.
“What are
we, invisible?” Adriana quipped.
“Lets see
fourteen rooms.” He said. “Hmmm, fourteen.” He repeated as he added Dinars up
in his head and thought about room service charges as well as the over priced
mini bars in each room. “Okay, I think we can do this.”
Both Caley
and Adriana waited for the, “BUT”. And sure enough, it came.
“But,” He
continued, “a couple of you ARE going to have to double up in the Chairlift to
Olympus Suite.”
“What?”
Caley gasped out, picturing having to stay in that room and not liking the
sound of anything the strange little man was saying. Visions of large portraits
of Gods and Goddesses seated on clouds crashed through Caley’s mind. Throwing
up in the corner came to Adriana’s mind.
Adriana
had the same shocked look on her face as she said, “Give us ANY room but THAT!”
The man
shrugged and handed Adriana the key to “The Piton Suite” on the second flood
and Caley got the key to “The Avalanche Suite” on the third floor. The two
smiled with the deepest satisfaction. Other suite and room keys were passed out
until there were just two people and one key remaining. It was Xerox and Bryna
that received the key to the Bridal Suite.
“Oh
swell!” Caley snarled as she grabbed the key from Xerox’s hand and replaced it
with her key. “Bryna, YOU are with me!” To Adriana she said, “We who are about
to die of Aphrodite, pink and purple salute you.” Caley hit her right fist to
her heart and then thrust her arm out straight in Roman style.
A small
smile danced about Adriana’s lips as her friend passed with Bryna in tow.
The next
day Olaf and Xerox spotted their boar in the forest. The two men had worked well together with one flushing
out the animals and the other laying in wait. They chased up to the
snow-covered peaks, pushing the beast until it weakened. When at last the boar
fell into a large snowdrift, Olaf pounced on the beast, while Xerox tightly
bond its feet and snout. Olaf then threw the boar over his shoulder and carried
it back to The Boring Boar where they kept the animal bound in the basement.
A week later Ofeelya found her boar
hiding in a thicket. She poked it with a long stick until she drove the
exhausted animal into a net Lathgertha had rigged.
King Epidermis had never thought
himself as a hero, he had however been brave in battle and even allowed his
mother-in-law to stay at his palace for whole week without having her beheaded.
Yet when Olaf and Ofeelya bought in their bound and snorting packages of pork
on the hoof, Epi wished he still had that old bronze jar of his father’s to
hide in. He did seriously consider
jumping behind the potted plant for a second or two, but that he knew that
would be unkingly. “To the Royal
kitchens!” he ordered to several guards, who promptly, though somewhat gingerly
took the struggling boars off to their final fate. Gaining his composure once
the animals were gone King Epidermis said, “After the feast tonight, we will
discuss your fifth quest.
For the fifth quest only four
people, Olaf, Ofeelya, Johann and Dagmar, were chosen to do the task, they were
to travel to Olympia
in Elis, where King Augeas Jr. ruled his late fathers kingdom. As
in Hercules’s time King Augeas or Junior, as he was still called, owned more
cattle than anyone in Greece or the known world. Junior Augeas was every bit as
rich as his dad, King Augeas the Elder had been, and even far more batty in the
belfry. He was a cattle baron and had herds of thousands of cows, bulls, goats,
sheep and horses. He had hundreds of cowherds, goatherds, shepherds and
horse-herders working
for him to feed and care for his animals’ needs; he hired no one to muck out
the stables. None of the stables had been cleaned since Hercules had cleaned
them during his labors. Junior, being of less than sound mind, was to use one
barn or stable for months and even years and then when one barn or stable was
too full of dung to keep the animals housed in he would simply order another
stable to be built. By now the mad king had quite a compound of the rotting
compound.
The Questors had been told to go to
King Augeas, and without saying anything about King Epidermis or The Amazing
Quest. Olaf, speaking for the rest said that he would clean out the stables in
one day, if Augeas would give him a tenth of his fine cattle.
“Hmmm,” Junior said, trying to
remember where he had heard a proposition liked that before. But when no bells
rang in his head, so he shrugged and promised.
Junior sent his son, Junior Jr.
along to watch the strangers. “Everybody in these parts know my Paw is crazy,
but you peoples is ever crazier ta come long and actually volunteer to clean up
all those shity stables in one day no less. You peoples is plumb out of yer
cotton pick’n minds.”
“Yeah son, I guess you got that one
right.” Olaf agreed as the stench from the stables reached his nose.
The boy nodded, and then looked over
at the other three. “So are yawl crazy too?” He asked.
“I got sinusitis so I don’t smell a
lot!” Dagmar said with a smile. Junior Jr. nodded, but since “sinusitis”
sounded catching he took two big paces away from the girl.
“A mans got to what a mans got to
do.” Johann simply said, as he tried to figure out how he could get out of
doing what he had to do.
Junior Jr. was even more confused
now, though he didn’t know how that was possible. When his eyes fell upon
Ofeelya it was as if Cupid had emptied his quiver on the boy. He was head over
heels in love with the Viking Vampria. As for Ofeelya, she looked at the boy as
if she was a starving wolf and he a fat rabbit. “Why… a… are…?” he stammered
before the question vanished from his mind. “You’re BEAUTIFUL!” Junior Jr.
finally was able to blurt out.
“Oh thank you Junior Jr.” She cooed
as her eyes and hands found his crotch. “Ummm!
“Ooooo! Exclaimed Junior Jr.
“You know, I don’t think JUNIOR
fits you…” She began to press her breasts into the boy’s chest and caress them
against him as she spoke again. “I think I will call you Stud!”
“Ofeelya, knock that off. We have a
job to do.” Olaf snapped.
Ofeelya gave the boy’s privates one
more squeeze before releasing him and turning to Olaf. “Olaf you are such an
old spoil sport.”
Junior Jr. was sweating, his breath
came in short gasps, how he wanted this woman. But now it seemed THAT wasn’t
going to happen. “A cold shower! Very, very cold shower.” He thought to
himself. “Or… Bunny!” A sudden smile came over his face. “I just remembered
something. I’ll be back in a few minutes… BYE!” Junior Jr. shouted over his
shoulder as he ran off at full speed toward the sheep pens.
“Was it something I said?” Ofeelya
mused and then smiled even more, “Or did?”.
After checking to see if the old
trenches to the two rivers, which Hercules dug all those years, were still
there, the four tore a large opening in the wall of the cattle-yard where the
stables were. By the time they made another opening in the wall on the opposite
side of the yard Junior was back with a satisfied look on his face. He watched
somewhat in awe as the four turned the course of the rivers into the yard. The
rivers’ water rushed through the stables, flushing them out, and all the mess
flowed out the hole in the wall on other side of the yard.
“Whoa!” Junior Jr. yelled out.
As with his father before him, when
King Augeas Junior learned that King Epidermis was behind all this, he refused
pay the four their reward. Not only that, he denied that he had even promised
to pay a reward. Augeas said that they didn't like it they could take the
matter to a judge to decide. But Ofeelya didn’t care, she and Junior Jr. snuck
off to one of the newly cleaned stables to play a game of sheep and
sheepherder. “Yer a tall ladie aren’t ya?” Junior Jr. said to Ofeelya “I bet
yer softer than Bunny…”
TO BE CONTINUED…
Zeus
Hera
Athena
Aphrodite
Ares
Artemis
Apollo
Hestia
Bryna
Caley
Stevo
Olaf
Ragnar
Xerox
Adriana
Johann Fair Play
Ofeelya
Helga
Lathgertha
Dagmar
Arla
Jonina
Sue
Pholus
Pirithous
King Augeas Jr.
Junior Jr.
Bunny the Sheep
DISCLAIMER: No animals, real or
legendary were harmed in the writing of this story. Though a ewe named Bunny
may need some counseling.
©
Copyright 2004 by TuMuses